Riding it Out

Disclaimer: this post is truthful and ugly BUT left with hope

The past 6 months have been some of the hardest months of my life. I landed in Uganda, high on life, excited for what the Lord had in store for me. Little did I know I would be walking into such trials and tribulations. 

Over the past couple of years, The Street Child Project was being run by two Ugandan men. They loved the children here and were doing their best to see them live a healthy and successful life. When our country director passed away unexpectedly in September 2019, things began to change drastically. The second man, who was working with the project, was given the opportunity to step up and start taking more responsibility as the new country director. He soon realized that the job was way more than what he was able to handle. He began to make some poor decisions and things began to snowball. In March, he decided to step down from his position and leave the project. Knowing that he previously made some poor decisions, he began to send threats to the project and even directly to me and others still at the project. 

Now, I’d like to say I’m a pretty even keel person (Mom & Dad stay quiet here, I know you’d probably like to rebuttal this.) I have my normal emotions as a human, but there really isn’t much that freaks me out. However, one thing that makes me extremely uncomfortable is the feeling of vulnerability. This past employee knew the ins and outs of The Street Child Project. He even had worked with me enough to know some of my strengths and weaknesses. I was left completely vulnerable. I was living on edge thinking of the worst that could happen – not to mention I was stuck. The borders of Uganda are still closed, so even if I wanted to get on the next flight back to the U.S. I couldn’t. Threats were coming in to force me out of the project and even report me to the police for false accusations. Needless to say, I had a serious “Why God” moment. Why in the heck would the Lord take me away from a steady job, comfortable home, and supportive community for something like this?! I have 2 friends, a home where I feel like an alien in most of the time, and a job that is falling apart. I hit rock bottom. I’ll be honest, I sat in my room during the day, hiding from everything going on. I didn’t even have energy to deal with what was happening. I didn’t even have energy to pray. Because of the threats being made, we were at risk of losing the project, losing our home, losing everything. 

It has also just been a stressful time in general – COVID-19, am I right?! The boys are getting restless. School has been out since March 20th. (The school year, here, runs from Feb-Dec with longer breaks in between the 3 terms.) They also continue to grow each and everyday, turning into men by the moment. They want freedom, they want independence. It. is. hard. I am also, very much, noticing the cultural differences between me and everyone else here (…but I think I’ll leave the details to this for a separate post).

Needless to say, the Lord has come through like He always does. It’s humorous to look back at how crazy I must have been looking during those stressful times. I’m finding patience in me that I never knew I had.

I have an amazing support team here at the project, and thanks to technology, I still have my closest family and friends along my side each step of the way.

We’ve had a lot of positive meetings lately at the project. Things are on the up and up. We’re slowly making progress every day. Due to the past employee’s poor decisions, the project was left at rock bottom. Not only were things all over the place, procedure wise, we were left financially hurt. We are essentially starting this thing from scratch. Being hurt and threatened by people you thought were once on your side, is a horrible feeling. It’s made me question relationships and question my trust in EVERYTHING. I’ve been praying for discernment and to never become too jaded, because, let’s be real, it’s HARD! I never imagined this is where I would be when I came back to Uganda, but I have faith that the Lord is working in all of this and He will see us through.

I’ve been listening to NEEDTOBREATHE’s latest releases, and while I was singing the lyrics, I felt an overwhelming feeling that the Lord and I were having a conversation – just Him and I. 

Me: “We’ve been living minute to minute. We’ve been holding on to every breath. Somehow our hearts are still in it, but all our innocence has left”

NEEDTOBREATHE – Seasons

Him: “We’re in for nasty weather, and I’ll ride it out with you. We won’t be riding highs and lows like tides of ocean blue. We won’t be here forever, just a moment and we’re through. We can’t be shifting with the sands like seasons always do.”

NEEDTOBREATHE – Seasons

This gave me hope. This is just a season. Everything the project is going through will pass. The Lord is riding this out with us, and for that I am grateful. I’ll let him take the helm, while we ride this crazy ride together. 

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On a lighter note, I want to take some time to thank all of you for your continued support and prayers (please be sure to visit my prayer requests page). I could say this until I’m blue in the face – I could not do this without you! Your prayers are keeping me afloat – they leave me feeling hopeful and loved, even if I’m miles and miles away.

Your financial support has also helped the project immensely. We are struggling, but thanks to the support I’ve previously raised from you all we have been able to slowly progress. We have been able to feed over 200 people, outside of our gates during this pandemic. The boys and I were even able to go to a nearby pool one Sunday afternoon and enjoy a cold soda in the sunshine – it was EXACTLY what we needed. Most of all, I am excited to share with you that your support has helped us buy a stove for the house. I honestly was jumping for joy when we got it into the house. At home, we mostly use our outside kitchen to use charcoal or wood to cook our food. We had one small gas burner inside the house, but the spokes on the burner were breaking off and we had to rig it with stones. Needless to say, we are all so grateful to have a new stove! I think the boys are most excited about the options to do some baking!

If you are at a place to continue helping us financially, we would be so grateful. Due to the lockdown causing severe financial crisis for many Ugandans, we have people knocking on our gate daily. We would love to be able to support them with the help that they need. We also want to do our best to continue helping those who are already a part of our project. Any amount would be helpful! If this is something you are willing or interested to do, please click here.

Thank you & God Bless you! Or in Luganda we say, “Weebale nyo! Mukama Akuwe Omukisa” [way-ba-lay nn-yo! Moo-kama Ah-kooway Oh-moo-keysa!].

Grace + Peace,

Kendall Rose